


Memory

by ladymashiro



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-09
Updated: 2015-04-09
Packaged: 2018-03-22 02:13:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3711025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladymashiro/pseuds/ladymashiro
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After several years, when he thought he finally moved on, Takao met Midorima again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Memory

From the corner of my eye, I saw him approaching. I put on my headset and shut my eyes, praying for him to pass quickly and hoping he would not notice me. "Ten, nine, eight, seven-" I counted on my mind.  
My heartbeat's getting faster and faster as he closes the distance between us . He must've been passing by my side right now. "Six, five, four, three-" I continued counting, hoping by the time I reached "one", he's already gone. Or maybe not.  
"Kazunari?" I heard him say, but I pretend not to hear him, I pretend to be listening to this non-existent song on my headset. "Go away! Just go to your seat!" I kept telling him on my mind, then- I felt somebody moving beside me. Impossible. I opened my eyes, my greatest nightmare is right beside me. He's fastening his seatbelt, his eyes widened when he saw me looking at him. "It's really you" he said, his voice slightly shaking, his grip on the armrest tightening. "Something wrong ace-sama? Afraid of my revenge?" I wanted to ask. "Pardon? Do I know you?" I said instead, flashing him my best smile. I'm not trying to play amnesia, but I don't want to talk about the past, specially now that I've finally moved on.  
"You're Kazunari Takao, aren't you?" His gaze is still on me.  
"Yes I am" I answered.  
"Have you really forgotten about me?"he asked with so much pain in his voice.  
Why does he have to sound so hurt, when he's the one who left me? I just woke up one day and he's gone.  
"Oh, I'm sorry, I'm not really good at remembering people's faces." I answered back, my best fake smile still plastered on my face "You see, I had this accident few years ago, and my memory is partially affected." Lie, it's a lie, I can still remember everything clearly. We were about to eloped, then the accident happened. When I woke up in the hospital, you're gone. You left me just when I needed you most.  
"I understand." He said sounding like he was about to cry. Good thing the cabin lights were turned off in preparation for take off, in this way I can't see his face.. he can't see mine. He can't see these tears flowing from my eyes.  
Twelve hours. I just have to sleep for twelve hours, no need to talk to him. No need to communicate with him. "Just sleep for twelve hours, and you'll be fine" I told myself.  
"I guess I deserve this" I heard him say, but I did not respond, pretending to be asleep "I'm just glad you're okay now. Seeing you alive and well is more than enough for me. You don't have to remember me" he continued, even with my eyes shut, I know he's crying. For what reason? I don't know. I don't want to know. He's nothing but a memory now.  
As the cabin lights are opened, I turned sideways to the window, away from him. I don't want him to see me crying because of him. This will be the last time I will cry because of him. That, I promise myself.

***  
It was a rainy November night, he called me up to meet him up at the station. His parents had always been against our relationship. They've always wanted him to marry a girl, have children and inherit their business. They even set up an arranged marriage for him, and this was our last chance. He'll be forced to marry a girl he doesn't even love the following day. It was past ten in the evening when he arrived.  
"Are you sure about this?" He asked  
I hugged him tightly "Of course" I told him "As long as I'm with you, I'll be fine"  
"We'll take the bullet train to Osaka, and take the first flight to the US from there. That way, they can't easily trace where we went"  
"I understand" I said kissing him on the lips  
With just one luggage each, we stepped into the train. Then the accident happened. Our train crashed with another train.  
I woke up in the hospital, bandages all over my body and an excruciating pain on my head. I looked around, my parents are there, my friends, his friends are there but he's not. "Where's Shin-chan?" I asked "Is he alright?"  
"He's fine." Tetsuya answered, then silence. They were looking at each other, my visitors I mean, but they're avoiding eye contact with me.  
"Where is he?" I asked forcing a smile  
"He left.. He just he ran away while you were on the operating room and never came back after that.. We tried calling him, but we cannot reach his phone-"  
"Stop it Tetsuya!" Ryota shouted as he pulled Tetsuya outside the room, but I can still hear their conversation  
"You shouldn't tell him that" Ryota shouted  
"But he has the right to know" Tetsuya answered back  
"But not now. He just woke up from the coma"  
Lies. It's all lies. They're all liars. Shin-chan wouldn't do that. It's impossible. I believe in him. I trust him. This, I repeatedly told myself.  
I never cried for the first few days, believing he would come back for me. But a week passed, then a month, no Shin-chan came back for me. That's when it sinks in to me. He's not coming back. He left me for good. For whatever reason, up to now, I don't know. I cried and cried for days, weeks, and months. Few month after I was discharged from the hospital, I decided to migrate to London. I needed a new environment to forget him, to start over again.

***

A pair of green eyes covered in thick glasses greeted me as I opened my eyes. His lips pressed against mine. "What are you doing?" I asked pushing him away.  
He straightened his seat adjusting his glasses "I'm sorry." He whispered, squeezing the armrest.  
"What are you apologizing for?" I asked. Are you apologizing for kissing me? For leaving me? Or maybe for both?  
"You remember everything, don't you?  
Of course I remember. I remember who you are, I remember what you did to me. How can I forget the first man who broke my heart? I wanted so say, but "What are you talking about?" Is all that came out of my mouth.  
"Never mind." He said "I guess I deserve this."  
Of course you deserve this. You deserve worse than this.

I can't help but notice the ring on his finger as he wipe his face with his handkerchief. It's a wedding ring, I'm sure of it. Realizing what it was, tears continuously flowed out from my eyes. "Why am I crying? So what if he's already married? Damn it! These tears won't stop falling. I need to get out of here." I said to myself. I ran to the lavatory to escape. I don't want him to see me like this. I slumped on the floor as soon as I reached the lavatory. It's a miracle that I managed to reach the lavatory when all the strength in me vanished when his knees brushed at the back of my legs, as I passed in front of him. I cried and cried inside the lavatory, but for what reason? I'm not really sure. 

He was standing outside the lavatory, leaning on the wall, hands on his back. "Are you okay?" He asked  
I did not respond, pretending I didn't hear anything.  
"Hey," he pulled me by the wrist "Are you okay?" He asked again  
"Do I look okay?" I answered sarcastically "Do you think I'm okay?" After what you did to me?  
"I'm sorry-" he paused biting his lips "I know what I did is unforgivable, but I have my reasons for doing that"

I tried pulling my hand from his grip, he won't let go, so I just slapped him with my free hand. "I wonder what reason is good enough to leave your boyfriend just when he needed you most?"  
With that, he let go of my hand and wipe the tears falling from his eyes. He's crying. Why is it so painful seeing him cry? Why? I can't stand it anymore, so I ran to my seat as fast as I can.  
He must've transferred seats, because he never came back to his seat. I'm alone again.. He left me again.. Just when I needed him most.

***

After disembarking from the plane, I only saw him once, he was waiting for his baggage, and I was waiting for mine. He was looking at me, but I pretend not to notice. He left after getting his baggage, to which direction, I don't know. I don't want to know. I don't want to know, because I might end up following him.  
"Do you know the young man who sat beside you on the plane?" It is an old lady, probably in her late 60's.  
I jus stare at her, not knowing how to answer her question  
"I'm sorry." The old lady said after noticing my reaction "I just thought maybe you knew each other for him to ask to exchange seats with me" she added as she smiled at me  
"He did that?" I asked, a little confused  
The old lady nod smiling at me.

*** 

I sighed as soon as I stepped inside our old apartment. "Not even today huh?" I sat on the floor of what used to be our bed room. I continue renting the place even after I moved to London, hoping one day he'll come back to this place. After I came back from London, Everyday I would drop by the old apartment, hoping to see him. It's been two weeks since then, but still no sign of him or him visiting the place. "What am I doing? Why am I still hoping for something impossible? Just when I thought I already moved on, here I am again" I lie down on the floor staring at ceiling. "Shin-chan.. Where are you right now? What are you doing right now? Who are you with?" I asked as if he's right in front of me. "Shin-ch-"  
I wasn't able to finish what I was saying for a kid about two or three years of age jumped into me and hugged me really tight repeatedly calling me mama.  
I stood up carefully, making sure the kid won't fall on the floor. "Hey, I'm not your mama" I told the kid as gently as possible. "Who are you with? How did you get here?"  
"You're my mama" he kept on calling me mama, clinging into my pants. "I love my mama"  
"Ryuichi!" A familiar voice called  
"Papa!" The kid ran towards the owner of the voice.  
"Kazunari" he called

*** 

We sat opposite each other in our favorite spot in a local family restaurant, his son beside him.  
"Would you like to order the usual?" He asked  
"I'm not hungry" I answered coldly "Alright" he reached for my hands, but I pulled them quickly away from him  
"Sorry."  
"For what?" I asked, still avoiding his eyes  
"For everything." He covered his ring finger realizing I was staring at his wedding ring  
"Covering it will not change the fact that you're already married." I stood up and straighten the crease on my clothes "I have to go" and headed for the door  
"Don't go!" He is now standing in front of me, his hand firmly holding my wrist  
"There's nothing to talk about, so let me go."  
He pulled me closer to him with his other hand, locked his lips with mine. "Just listen to me first, will you?" He said desperately as our lips parted  
A kiss from him and I lost all my strength, to fight, to reason out, to move. I fell on the chair beside me, tears still flowing continuously from my eyes.  
He hugged me tightly, like how he used to. "Stop crying." He said kissing me on the head. "I'm here now. You don't know how much it hurts seeing you cry because of me" he pause for a while, pulling his son closer to him with his other hand "She died of childbirth, Ryuichi's mother, my wife."  
I looked up at him, his eyes are red from crying. "It's been two years since then." He continued "Earlier we visited her grave. I asked for her permission"  
"What permission?" I asked  
" For this" He pulled his necklace hidden under his shirt. A ring hangs on it, acting as a pendant. He removed the ring from the necklace, knelt in front of me "Marry me"  
"Why should I do that?" I asked "I haven't forgiven you remember? You still owe me a lot. Why did you leave me?"  
"I know, but I just can't take it if I loose you again"  
"Why did you leave me?" I repeat, almost shouting at him  
"I left because I love you so much, I'd rather spent my life away from you, knowing that somewhere you are alive and living happily with someone else, than losing you forever"  
"What do you mean?"  
He stood up and kissed me on the head "Remember the night of the accident?" He asked  
I nod. How can I forget that?  
"You needed an immediate operation, I don't have the money for that, so I asked for my parent's help, but it came with a price.. I had to marry their friends daughter."  
"Idiot! Why didn't you tell me?"  
"Because I know you so well, you'll just blame and hate yourself for it, I prefer you hating me than you hating yourself. That's how much I love you." He handed me the ring. Our names are engraved in it. "This is not our wedding ring, I mean not the wedding ring from my previous marriage" he clarified "I was supposed to give you this on the night if the accident, but things happened.. Sorry it took me so long" He placed the ring on my finger. Everything around us seemed to stop.  
"I haven't said yes, baka!" I pulled him closer kissing him on the lips. "I won't wait for you again, so you better stay by my side"

***  
Bonus!

Shintarou and Kazunari are lying side by side on the bed. "Nee, Shin-chan, why does Ryuichi keeps on calling me mama?" Takao turned his head to Midorima "Do I look like her? I mean Ryu-chan's mother?"  
Midorima burst into laughter "Not at all"  
"Why are you laughing? Why is he always calling me mama?"  
"He once asked for his mama and I showed him your picture, I told him you are his mama"


End file.
